Day 7: Crucial First Sentence

I didn't always know I was a werewolf.

The Kinstons are a bunch of dirty rotten liars, and I'll tell you why.

When she told me she loved me, I really believed it at first.

Cheyenne gasped as an arrow punctured her lungs.

Do you remember the day when the sun never rose?

The Queen shed her last tear as the blade came swinging down.

"There's no such thing as rainbows", brother said.

...Okay, I dare you to say that none of those intrigued you. Those are all examples of a good first sentence, the crucial hook that pulls your reader in right from the start. Now, there are a lot of books that don't have memorable first sentences. But there are a lot of books that do. I think it's important to have a really good first sentence, or at least a strong first paragraph, so your reader isn't bored right off the bat.

I don't have a lot to say about it, just that I think it's super important. Currently, my first chapter-in-progress doesn't have a great first sentence, but a good first paragraph.  I'll share with you what I have so far, although it may change. Please, give me feedback and let me know if this intrigues you:

Azhar, Prince of Red Fire - Chapter 1

OBEY the Undying King; He shall deliver us into immortality.
NEVER forsake your birth-blood.
NEVER reveal your identity to those who are not Ameretat.
SLAY ALL who are not Ameretat; for they are your eternal enemies.
     These words rang heavily in Azhar’s mind as he read them over and over. Their runes were as dark as they were when the loaded ink first spilled them upon the page, centuries ago. The candlelight was fading, but it didn’t matter; Azhar had the sentences memorized by heart. For fourteen years those words were the sovereign of his life, and for fourteen years he had been able to recite them unquestionably. He was wholly bound to them, after all.
    But for the first time, something felt wrong.

So, what do you think? It could use some work, but I like how it starts out with a tone of seriousness and strict structure. (Try to say that five times fast. Strict structure strictstructure struciekaslegiur)

It definitely needs some work, though. I would really appreciate feedback on this.

That's it, today was short and sweet, thanks for reading!

Man, writing a story in 90 days sure is a lot of work. 

Until tomorrow, my friends!

"Tell me if ever anything was done..."

                                                                                            - Leonardo da Vinci

Book Working Title: Azhar, Prince of Red Fire

Day in Progress: 7

Words Achieved: 627

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